If you have kids, you have screens; according to data released last year, the average U.S. home with internet access had 17 connected devices. And if you have screens, you have decisions. How much screen time is too much? If YouTube is OK, what about Instagram? If Instagram is OK, what about TikTok? All the decisions (and the varying opinions floating around out there!) can feel overwhelming, and yes, we’re probably doing something wrong.
We can’t be too hard on ourselves, though; after all, we’re among the first wave of parents having to raise kids in an increasingly-digital world. We’re literally trekking through new territory — pioneering, if you will — so it isn’t any wonder we encounter a few hiccups along the way. Think about driver’s licenses and the minimum driving age, for example. Those weren’t developed until years after people started using cars. Until that point, there were no guidelines or guardrails in place; those things came only after trial and error deemed them necessary, as people learned to navigate this new technology — and encountered its pitfalls. And now, a century later, we’re in the same boat with phones, social media, and 24/7 connectedness. Still figuring it all out: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Celebrity mom Drew Barrymore is no different. (Celebs — they’re just like us!) While hosting the first-ever Verizon Digital Wellness Summit, the actress, TV host, and mother of two admitted that sometimes as a parent, you just have to backtrack. She referenced a conversation with her daughters, 12-year-old Olive and 10-year-old Frankie, when she was having second thoughts about the guidelines she’d previously set for screen time — and the importance of being honest about it being new territory for everyone.
“I had to say, ‘I am learning about this alongside of you and what I discovered does not work for me, and I don’t see this going well for you too, so we’re going to walk this back and we’re going to figure out a new path forward,” she shared at the event. “We just throw our hands up thinking, ‘It’s all out there, it’s too late’ — it is so not. … We really can admit that we’re figuring this out on the job, too.”
Verizon wants to make “figuring it out” easier on families. At their Digital Wellness Summit, the company announced a new range of initiatives to promote healthy digital habits and support families in their online lives. “We’re committed to making sure that technology enhances our lives, rather than detracts from them, and our new initiatives are a significant step in that direction,” said Verizon Consumer CEO, Sowmyanarayan Sampath, in a press release.
To do this, Verizon is teaming up with others on a new Digital Citizenship Initiative to provide free resources that help K-12 students navigate the online world (you can find this content on their website and through the Discovery Education Experience). They’re also working with the Joan Ganz Cooney Center, a research and innovation lab that operates independently within Sesame Workshop, to study how kids at the key developmental ages of 8-12 use technology, and how it affects them — research that allows them to create programs that promote healthy tech habits. Plus, Verizon will offer free workshops in some stores to help parents and caregivers keep family members of all ages — even vulnerable seniors — safe and savvy online.
“Young kids are on the phone 4 to 5 hours on social every day … get 275 notifications every day … and pick up their phone 150 times,” Sampath told SheKnows when we sat down with him at the event. “So having a healthy digital relationship is super important. We have to set boundaries. Those boundaries are going to differ by family, and by circumstance. People are going to have to figure that out — our role in the ecosystem will provide you with the tools to do that.” Through the free Verizon Family app, he says, Verizon customers can monitor what apps their kids are using, how much time they’re spending on them, who they’re calling and texting, and more — plus limit screen time, block certain content, and get feedback on family driving habits and safe location tracking.
But more important than any of these things, Sampath told us, is the role parents and caregivers play in getting our families off the phone and into the real world.
“We’re essentially competing with the phone for fun,” he pointed out. “At the end of the day, we’re parents; we’re not friends, I’m not your entertainer. But I want people to have positive conversations and engagements with their children, because that’s the best way to manage digital wellness and to create boundaries.” Sampath encourages parents to get out there with their kids — and model putting our own phones down in the process (for expert advice on how to create more quality family time, click here). “Go on a walk, go to the community pool, watch a movie together, watch a game together,” he suggested. “Parents and caregivers have a big role in that.” He’s right, of course; as parenting coach Jennifer Martin previously told SheKnows, “Creating deeper connections through quality time together will deepen your bonds through adolescence into adulthood.”
To hear the CEO of the largest mobile network carrier in the United States encourage people to put their phones down is certainly unexpected, but it’s also refreshing. You could think of it this way: not only is it good for crucial bonding, but the more time we spend hanging out with our families “IRL,” the less time we’ll have to spend worrying about what they’re doing on their screens. And for parents, that’s a definite win.
Before you go, check out these celebrities who have shared their technology rules for their kids.