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A few years ago, while my daughter was in elementary school, a handful of mom friends and I decided that we weren’t going to be pressured into getting our girls smartphones. It wasn’t a pact, or even a promise, but there was a feeling amongst us that we could genuinely do it if we did it together.
Kids, especially teens, love using the guilt tactic or other methods they’ve learned in debate. I hear lots of, “Why is she allowed to have one?” and “I’m the only teenager without a smartphone!” Well guess what? It’s not hard to be the ONLY teen without a smartphone when you’re not the only one!
All of this is to say that we have resisted getting our daughter a smartphone, and we’ll do so at least until high school. But by no means are we tech-free. We have devices in practically every room throughout the house. We use it, we love it, we want our kids to be amazing at using it themselves. But we also want them to be safe, and to use it with us or in front of us — not having secret accounts or conversations while using tech alone in their bedrooms.
If you read Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, you might have heard about his four tenets:
1: No smartphones before high school
2: No social media before they’re 16
3: Phone-free schools
4: More unsupervised play and childhood independence
While we can’t control what goes on in the school system or in the country as a whole, we’ve started with devices that offer teens the pros of technology without all of the cons. As one of our dad friends said, “Why would I put a super-computer into the hands of my child?”
These are the best tech products for teens if you’re saying NO to a smartphone:
Wearables
Apple Watch SE
Hands down, this wearable is the number one solution for our needs. The Apple Watch gives the kids SO many tech capabilities! They can text us, use Apple Pay, and listen to music. We can track them, text them, and send them money if needed. There is no camera, so we don’t have to worry about pics/video being taken where it’s not supposed to be. Also, you can’t download social media apps, so that’s a win! Overall, this is the best smart device for kids. It’s also less expensive than most phones, and kids are much less likely to lose a watch strapped around their wrist (I recommend the Sport Loop Band for added security) than a phone that they put down 100 times a day. Apple Watch for Kids features are here, so you can research all the things.
(Side note, I have asked Apple to make us all an affordable flip phone that would be “cool” yet still limit social media, video, etc. TBH, they passed me to the legal team and didn’t seem to appreciate my suggestion. As a mom, shouldn’t we always ask?)
Meta Quest 3: Mixed Reality VR Headset
Gaming is a great way to make the most of tech. This wearable lets kids (and parents) play games alone or with friends. It turns a quiet night into a social opportunity (and also a workout!). Setup for 10-12 year olds is done via a parent-managed Meta account which lets you manage everything. For older kids, there are teen supervision tools. There are so many fun games and sports the kids can play alone, with you as a family, and with friends and family from all over the world!
A few favorite features:
-With YouTube watch party functionality, you can host private viewing sessions with up to seven friends or family members, each represented as customizable avatars in a fully immersive VR or mixed-reality environment.
–Music Valley offers a new and immersive concert experience that can take teens from their living room couches to the best concert seat in the house to their favorite performers like Shawn Mendes and Sabrina Carpenter.
-Use it to teach about travel with apps like National Geographic, Wooorld and Space Explorers.
-Wellness features via apps including Supernatural, Headspace and TRIPP are great for workouts, meditations and better sleep habits.
Tablets
Kindle Kids
The Kindle is the BEST way to fake it ’til you make it! Kids think they’re getting tech, but they’re really getting a book, so who is the winner here? Kindle Kids, built for kids 7-12, encourages reading with no distractions from apps, messages, or social media. The included subscription to Amazon Kids+ provides unlimited access to thousands of kid-friendly books and even audiobooks, which can be enjoyed via Bluetooth headphones or speakers. Kindle Kids comes with built-in parental controls that parents can customize using the Parent Dashboard app, like adding books to their kid’s library, viewing reading progress, adjusting age filters, setting a device bedtime, and more. This Kindle, which single-handedly made reading in our house cool again, is so small that it fits into the front pocket of a backpack. Plus the charge lasts for like two weeks, so please … read away.
Pixel Tablet
This tablet has been a fixture in our kitchen for a while and it’s the first thing I talk to every morning (“Hey Google, what’s the weather?”). Although the tablet can be removed from the dock and used around the house, we keep it on the counter plugged in so that it’s always charged and ready (the charging speaker dock automatically charges your tablet when it’s docked, so it can be useful 24/7). You and the kids can play music, stream shows, make video calls, and play games for up to 12 hours on a single charge. Whether the kids want to call Grandma after school or watch YouTube videos while having their snack, they can do it on a screen large enough that you can SEE what they’re doing — while having the freedom to use the device themselves. You can also set boundaries and parental controls (e.g., screen time limits) with the Family Link app, and set up multiple profiles so each user on your tablet has a portal to their own apps and content, as well as an individual pin and fingerprint unlock.
Lenovo Chromebook Duet Gen 9
For the kids who NEED a Chromebook for school, yet beg for a tablet, this is your one-and-done device that converts from laptop to tablet mode with its built-in kickstand. Starting at only 1.12lbs and measuring just .30 inches thin, the Lenovo Chromebook Duet 11-inch is designed for on-the-go use and has all-day battery life. Google Family Link allows you to manage your child’s Chromebook by setting screen time limits and controlling what content they can access. With multi-user login, each family member has their own private space on one shared laptop. When you’re ready to give your kids the freedom of a tablet, this lets them download apps (yes, Spotify is one of them!), have a camera (front and rear), and works via wifi (no need for an additional data plan). I appreciate that the front camera comes with a physical shutter to ensure privacy, and that when it needs charging, it must find its way back to the charger versus staying private for too long.
Other Tech Products
Echo Show 5 Kids
This Alexa-powered smart speaker for kids is a great intro device for little ones who want to have their own device to enjoy! It sits on a table or desk just like a smart alarm clock and functions as such — with so much more. With Amazon Kids on Alexa, Alexa gives kid-friendly and age-appropriate responses to questions. Tweens can ask Alexa for homework help, make video calls to parent-approved friends and family (call grandma!), and when listening to Amazon Music, songs with explicit lyrics will be filtered out. Adults can set daily time limits and review activity in the Amazon Parent Dashboard. It comes with a subscription to Amazon Kids+ which provides unlimited access to thousands of ad-free and age-appropriate books, Audible books, podcasts, videos, Alexa skills, and more. Plus, Alexa Emergency Assist is an added feature available on the Echo Show 5 Kids, which enables anyone in the home to get fast access to help, hands-free with their Echo devices — just say, “Alexa, call for help” to get in contact with a trained Urgent Response Agent who can request dispatch of emergency services and pass along critical information directly.
iMac Desktop Computer
A desktop may seem different these days, but it’s still the best of the best. One of our friends was sick of watching her daughter doing schoolwork slouched on the bed with a laptop, and this was the answer. Now firmly situated on the desk, in a color the kids can choose themselves, kids can be the ruler of tech with an iMac while showing everything large screen, front and center. There’s no sneaking anything on a 24-inch screen. Plus it’s gorgeous and it’s a Mac that the whole family can use regularly.
Troomi Samsung A15
If there’s no getting around a phone, then we recommend a kid-safe smartphone designed to provide connection without compromise. The Troomi phone gives you GPS tracking and connectivity without access to social media apps. The Troomi App Store has curated apps with no open access to the internet. It also allows for Preemptive Content Filtering (AI-powered parental controls that block harmful content before your child sees it) and Full-Context Messaging Monitoring (unlike other solutions that only provide flagged keywords, Troomi allows parents to view entire message threads for full context and peace of mind). This is a great “entry phone” as it has the features you want, with serious parental limitations for safety. Troomi provides its own cellular service with plans starting at $19.95/Month.
The decision to get your kids a smartphone is so personal, and none of us can say what’s right or wrong. I can only say that doing so as a group has made it much easier than doing it alone. Providing these tech devices for teens has been a workaround that has helped us say no … for at least this long.