As the mother of two teenagers and a former teenage misanthrope, I’ve developed an anthropological fascination with adolescent grievances spanning the millennia. Nothing validates my parenting quite like discovering an ancient Mesopotamian teen’s clay tablet complaint that could have been written yesterday—minus the effort of carving it into actual stone.
The world’s oldest recorded teenage complaint
Recently, historian Dr. Esmé James shared what’s essentially a 4,000-year-old text message from a teenager to his mother. This clay tablet, translated by A. Leo Oppenheim, contains the oldest documented case of “but everyone else has nicer clothes than me” in human history:
Tell the lady Zinu [that] Iddin-Sin sends the following message: From year to year, the clothes of the young gentlemen here become better, but you let my clothes get worse from year to year. Indeed, you persisted in making my clothes poorer and more scanty. At a time when in our house wool is used up like bread, you have made me poor clothes. The son of Adad-iddinam, whose father is only an assistant of my father, has two new sets of clothes, while you fuss even about a single set of clothes for me. In spite of the fact that you bore me and his mother only adopted him, his mother loves him, while you, you do not love me!
4,000 years later, teens are still the same
I’m particularly impressed by young Iddin-Sin’s commitment to his complaint. Most modern teens might send a passive-aggressive text or leave a dramatic note. This kid etched his sartorial dissatisfaction into clay for eternity. Archaeological evidence suggests he may have been the world’s first influencer, desperately seeking that Mesopotamian drip while his mother refused to sponsor his content.
The biting accusation that mother Zinu doesn’t even love him hits with the precision of a skilled emotional assassin. Forget modern teenage sulking—this is psychological warfare from the Bronze Age. He even throws in a comparison to an adopted child receiving preferential treatment. Four millennia later, and teenagers still expertly deploy the nuclear option in arguments about mundane household matters.
Related: How to talk to a teenager—and get them to talk to you
My own historical teenage meltdown
It reminds me of my own brush with adolescent dramatic expression. In sixth grade, my teacher called me in for a private conversation about something she’d discovered in my notebook. Mortified doesn’t begin to describe how I felt when she showed me pages where I’d scrawled “I HATE MY MOM” and other choice sentiments in handwriting large enough to be seen from space. I’d been frustrated after some forgotten argument and then completely forgotten about my literary outburst before turning in my work.
In retrospect, I imagine my teacher probably had a good laugh, recognizing the hallmarks of normal preteen angst rather than genuine family problems. But unlike Iddin-Sin, at least I didn’t have to chisel my complaints into stone. Can you imagine that parent-teacher conference? “Mrs. Goldstein, your daughter has been using the school’s stone tablets to express some… concerning feelings about your parenting.”
Related: What to do if your teenager starts pulling away
History’s greatest minds (and grumpy old men) on teenagers
Aristotle—who clearly spent time around teenagers—observed, “[Young people] are high-minded because they have not yet been humbled by life… They think they know everything and are always quite sure about it.” Revolutionary insight from the man who also believed women had fewer teeth than men but never bothered to count.
And here’s Peter the Hermit in 1274 CE perfecting the ancient art of yelling at clouds: “The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint… As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior, and dress.” Fascinating how men have been performing the same tired routine about women’s behavior since before indoor plumbing, yet still expect applause for originality.
TikTok reacts: “Boy was fuming”
The comments on Dr. James’s TikTok dissect this ancient family drama with forensic precision. User ‘gray’ noted the teen was so upset he “carved into STONE boy was fuming.” Yes, nothing says “I’m making a reasonable point” like etching your complaints into geological material.
Another commenter, Kasandra, pointed out “And she kept the tablet 😂😂😂😂 I bet she laughed at it each time she saw it.” Zinu probably used it as a conversation piece during Mesopotamian dinner parties. “You think your son is dramatic? Mine creates clay tablets documenting my parental failings. Another cup of fermented date wine?”
My favorite comment came from ‘so_sayeth_the_bard’: “I need a museum wing that’s just ‘teen angst throughout time’ that I can shove mine into and show them, No bro it’s not ‘just you.’” I’d visit that museum weekly, particularly as a former teen who once composed a dramatic list of “household injustices” that included having to load the dishwasher.
And as ‘mrlantwv86m’ suggested: “I fully believe the response was ‘Well maybe she is willing to adopt another son.’” The ancient equivalent of “There are plenty of mothers on the Euphrates who would be grateful to have you.”
Parenting through the ages: Some things never change
As I navigate the occasional teenage melodrama in my own household, there’s something darkly comforting about knowing parents have endured identical performances for four millennia. When I witness other parents dealing with demands for specific brands or claims that “everyone else has one,” I imagine Lady Zinu receiving her son’s tablet and thinking, “This again?”
Some things truly never change. Lady Zinu never got to experience the joy of her son leaving one-star reviews for her parenting on ancient Mesopotamian Yelp, but I suspect she’d recognize the sentiment immediately. And somewhere, in whatever passed for a private moment in ancient Babylon, I like to think she rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and wondered if there was enough barley wine in all of Mesopotamia to get her through these teenage years.