Lukas Gage Has Your Attention Now

What began as an “attention-seeking” exercise became something far more generous: a study in connection, self-interrogation and the complicated art of being seen. That duality throughout the book defines both Gage and his writing. I Wrote This For Attention moves through funny, painful, and deeply personal memories. While readers might crack a smile at the jokes and sharp one-liners, the memoir is a real attempt for Gage to understand himself and the patterns he’s carried through life. Some chapters came easily, he says, while others required deep vulnerability.

The hardest parts to write, he admits, were the ones about his mental health and sexual struggles. Those pages feel heavier, written with a kind of honesty that risks something. Healing, for him, wasn’t about forgetting but rather finally finding the words for those feelings, and this book became that safe space to do so.

Gage sat down to catch up with PAPER and discuss all things acting and writing his latest memoir:

You’ve spoken openly about breaking stereotypes in Hollywood. How do you see representation evolving in the industry?

I would say it’s evolving a bit, but also people still see things with blinders on. We’ve made some progress, but I do think that we can still be a bit narrow minded and not be able to think outside of the box. And so I think it’s both. I think that we’ve made progress, but I wouldn’t say that it’s an open field and it’s a free-for-all and that there aren’t still dumb people out there.

What advice would you give your younger self when you were first starting out in Hollywood?

Never wear shorts on a carpet. Don’t try to be anything other than what you are. Stop trying to figure out what they want because they don’t know what they want. And, just be whatever’s unique and very specific to you, because that’s what you’re selling, and that’s what’s going to make you stand out from the herd.

You once went viral for an audition clip, how did that moment change things for you professionally?

I would say it did, both positively and negatively. Positively, It made people know who I am and, I guess, made people know my name and want to take meetings with me. But, in a negative aspect, it also maybe took precedent and overshadowed any of the little work I had done, and I kind of was seen as like a 15-minute viral moment. So I think in some ways it was helpful, and in other ways it felt like it was a little bit of a hindrance.

Your book is finally out. What made you want to write this book? What made you want to put this on paper and go on this journey?

Attention, and money. That’s a joke, but a part of it of course. I did want attention and I wanted to be validated and to be seen by people. What I didn’t expect to come from it while writing it is that I would care about it so much and that it would mean that I would have to take a real deep look into myself and get an understanding of myself. That’s the thing that I’m most grateful for. Having people reach out to me and say where they feel seen, and where they can relate, and where they are so happy someone else put words to a thing that was hard for them to discuss. That’s the thing I love most about books, nonfiction books in particular, when I can find aspects of myself in people when I otherwise thought I wouldn’t relate to them. I think a perfect way to encapsulate the whole entire book is that you’re going to be shook one moment and your jaw is gonna drop, or your heart’s gonna break, and then the next line you’re gonna laugh. There is a lot of humor in it but there is a lot of heart and real and raw moments. I started with the name, and then the book came later.

I think about when I met you for the first time, five something years ago, because it is kind of very telling of this book, and the story, and who I am. I was at a bar alone with a backpack on but I knew that I wanted to be an actor and a writer and that person is still in me. I can look back and think that it’s so cool that I did that, and thank God I was that kid, and thank God I was that brave and that open and willing to take chances on myself. I think for a while I wanted to hide that I was that person that could do that.

Writing this memoir meant putting some of your most vulnerable moments on paper. Was there a chapter that was the hardest for you to write?

I would say the things that were the hardest for me to write were probably anything that had to do with the mental health aspects of the book. Opening up with the conversation about my personality disorder and being honest about it, was the thing that I was filled with the most shame about so it felt like the most important thing that I should talk about. But it also comes with repercussions, or at least I felt like there were going to be repercussions with me being honest about that aspect of myself. I didn’t feel like there was a certain responsibility, though, to tell the truth about that.

How did the people closest to you react to the book, specifically the people that you wrote about?

I think my mom definitely had a hard time reading the book for the first time. Obviously, a mom wants to protect their children and not have anything bad happen to them. And that’s just not the case. The world is a crazy place, and you can only do so much. So I think for her it was a really hard first read, and then she read it again and again, and she could see how much love we have for our little dysfunctional, unhinged family, and how much heart there is for it. I also love hearing from my friends that have read the book and they feel like they can understand me more; that’s a really incredible thing that I did not expect to happen.

You titled the book “I Wrote This For Attention”. What’s the most attention-seeking thing you’ve ever done?

I mean, writing this memoir is pretty attention seeking. Getting married on the Kardashians is pretty attention seeking. What else is pretty attention seeking? Besides that, I cut this from the book, but I cut my brother’s hockey stick as a seven year old because I didn’t want him to play hockey and I don’t know why but I thought it’d be a good idea to cut my finger open too and tried to tell my parents that I needed to go to the hospital so my brother couldn’t go to hockey because I wanted them to take care of me. So I purposely sliced my finger open for attention.

Was there anything in the book that your editor asked you to cut but you insisted on keeping in?

I would say there really wasn’t stuff that I had to fight to keep in, but there were more things that they had to convince me to cut. The only thing I remember fighting for was having that introduction in the book, because they wanted the conclusion to be in the intro, and I wanted a specific part of this chapter in the middle of the book that I loved, to be where we started. So there was some fighting on that. But other than that, there wasn’t anything else that I had to convince them to let me put in. Sometimes I was shocked that they let me write certain lines.

Were there any moments while writing this book where you felt judgmental towards yourself?

Always. I mean, I don’t hold my acting or my writing in the highest of those teams. I will always be nitpicking and hard on myself, but I think ultimately I’ve come to peace with it more, and I can be proud of myself and want to be better at the same time. Two things can coexist, I don’t have to just be hard on myself. So I’ll always be a critic and I’ll always be a little nitpicky bitch to myself, but I am proud of myself for this.

What was the easiest part of the book to write?

I think the marriage chapter and the viral video chapter I wrote in a day. I think that it’s already been told and I’ve already talked about it so much. I think it just felt easy and I didn’t feel like I had to dig as deep compared to some of my other relationships or some of my other trauma, or the mental health and sexuality aspects of the book.

Speaking of the marriage chapter, a lot of people talked about that relationship and the marriage. Looking back at it now, what was the biggest takeaway for you from that experience?

I think that you need to understand yourself and get to know yourself, and not look for somebody else to solve your problems for you. I think you have to solve your own things first before you go looking for someone else to help you feel complete.

Do you think that whole experience has changed your perspective on relationships moving forward?

Yes, I do. I think I learned a different perspective from every relationship I’m in. Every relationship teaches you something different, truly, about yourself and about future relationships.

Is there anything or something specific that the headlines got wrong about that relationship?

That I cheated in that relationship. I’ve cheated in plenty of other ones, not that one.

If the book became a movie, who would play Lukas Gage?

I said this once, JoJo Siwa. And I’m not kidding about it, I think she would be amazing. And if she’s not available, I would love to see what Jacob Tremblay is doing.

Who was your first celebrity crush, and do they know?

My very first crush was the magic rug from Aladdin. But that was a fake one. The second one was Jennifer Love Hewitt and Allison Lowman, which I talked about in the book, and they don’t know. But now they will know, because I wrote it in a book,

What’s the wildest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself?

That I fucked my way to the top. Because if I could’ve, I would’ve. It would’ve been a lot easier than this shit [laughs].

If you could describe your memoir only using three words, what would they be?

Funny. Slutty. Heartfelt.