Beginner’s Guide to Adult Toys: Where to Start and What to Try


Exploring adult toys for the first time can feel overwhelming with so many options available. Whether you’re interested in solo exploration or enhancing intimacy with a partner, this guide will help you navigate your choices with confidence and find products that work best for your needs and comfort level.

Getting Started: Essential Knowledge

Start Simple and Build Gradually

There’s no need to dive into advanced products immediately. Begin with one or two items that genuinely interest you, then expand your collection as you discover your preferences. Everyone’s journey is different, so take your time finding what works for you.

Prioritize Quality and Safety

Investing in body-safe materials is crucial for your health and enjoyment. Look for toys made from medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. These materials are non-porous, easy to clean, and won’t cause irritation. Avoid products made from jelly, rubber, or PVC, which can contain harmful phthalates and other chemicals.

Size Considerations

Larger doesn’t necessarily mean better, especially for beginners. Many people find smaller, less intimidating options more comfortable and pleasurable when starting out. You can always explore different sizes as you become more experienced.

Solo Exploration: Building Your Foundation

External Stimulation Options

Bullet Vibrators
These compact, versatile toys are excellent starting points for anyone new to adult products. Classic bullet vibrators typically measure 2-4 inches in length and feature a sleek, cylindrical design that’s both affordable and discreet. They’re perfect for discovering your preferred vibration patterns and intensities, with most models offering 3-10 different speed settings and pulsation patterns. Their small size makes them completely non-intimidating while still providing surprisingly powerful stimulation. Many bullets are waterproof, making them suitable for bath or shower play, and their quiet motors ensure privacy. The pinpoint stimulation they provide makes them ideal for precise targeting of sensitive areas, and they’re often rechargeable via USB for convenience.
Wand Massagers
The Magic Wand remains a legendary choice in the adult toy world for excellent reasons. Originally designed as a back massager in the 1960s, it accidentally became one of the most effective pleasure devices ever created. Modern versions like the Magic Wand Rechargeable and Magic Wand Plus offer multiple speed settings and patterns, making them much more beginner-friendly than the original single-speed plug-in model. These wand-style massagers typically feature large, rounded heads (about 2.3 inches in diameter) that provide broad, rumbly vibrations rather than surface-level buzzing. The wide stimulation area means you don’t need pinpoint precision to find what feels good. While powerful, they provide consistent, deep vibrations that can be felt throughout the entire pelvic region, making them particularly effective for people who need stronger stimulation or have difficulty reaching climax with other toys.
Clitoral Suction Toys
Brands like Womanizer, Satisfyer, and We-Vibe have completely revolutionized external stimulation with innovative air pulse technology. Rather than traditional vibration, these toys create gentle suction and pulsating air waves that surround and stimulate the clitoris without direct contact. The sensation is often described as feeling like gentle oral stimulation combined with rhythmic pulsing. Most models feature multiple intensity levels (typically 8-12 settings) and various pulsation patterns, allowing for gradual build-up and customization. The Womanizer Premium, for example, offers Smart Silence technology that activates only when in contact with skin, while the Satisfyer Pro 2 provides similar sensations at a more budget-friendly price point. Many users who previously struggled to climax with traditional vibrators find success with suction toys, as they provide a completely different type of stimulation that can feel more natural and less overwhelming.
Rose-Shaped Suction Toys
These aesthetically pleasing toys have exploded in popularity across social media platforms and use similar air pulse suction technology to premium brands, often at significantly more accessible price points (typically $20-40 versus $100+ for name brands). The rose design makes them appear more like decorative items than adult toys, which many users appreciate for discretion. Most feature 7-10 suction intensities and are made from soft silicone with petals that create the suction chamber. While the technology is similar to higher-end models, the build quality and motor strength can vary significantly between manufacturers. When shopping for rose toys, prioritize sellers who clearly state their products are made from body-safe silicone and offer clear cleaning instructions, as the market has been flooded with knockoffs of varying quality.

Internal Stimulation Options

Classic Vibrators
Simple, straight vibrators in beginner-friendly sizes (typically 4-5 inches in length, 1-1.5 inches in diameter) serve as ideal starting points for internal exploration. These traditional designs focus on straightforward functionality without overwhelming features or intimidating proportions. Look for models with multiple speeds (usually 3-7 settings) and various vibration patterns like pulsing, escalating, or wave patterns to help you discover what sensations you prefer. Many modern classic vibrators feature graduated tips that start narrow and gradually widen, making insertion more comfortable for beginners. Premium options like those from Lelo or We-Vibe offer whisper-quiet motors, longer battery life, and completely waterproof designs. The smooth, consistent vibrations throughout the shaft provide both internal and external stimulation, and their simple operation makes them perfect for learning what intensities and rhythms work best for your body.
G-Spot Vibrators
These specially curved toys are anatomically designed to target the G-spot, a sensitive area located about 1-3 inches inside the vaginal canal on the front wall. The Lelo Gigi series exemplifies excellent G-spot design with its flattened tip and pronounced curve that naturally angles toward the correct area when inserted. The curved shape isn’t just for show – it’s specifically engineered to maintain contact with the G-spot during use, while the flattened head provides broader stimulation rather than pinpoint pressure. Most G-spot vibrators feature stronger motors in the tip area where stimulation is most needed, and many include come-hither motions that mimic finger movements. The Fun Factory G4 Big Boss and Njoy Pure Wand (a non-vibrating stainless steel option) are other highly recommended choices. These toys often work best with generous amounts of lubricant and patience, as G-spot sensitivity varies greatly between individuals and can take time to develop.
Dildos
Non-vibrating dildos offer a pure, focused experience that allows you to concentrate entirely on size, shape, texture, and material sensations without the distraction of motors and vibration patterns. They’re excellent choices for people who prefer gentler, more controlled stimulation or find vibration too intense or distracting. Dildos come in an enormous variety of shapes, from realistic designs that mimic anatomical features to abstract artistic forms and everything in between. Beginner-friendly options typically measure 4-6 inches in length with 1-1.25 inch diameters, while premium materials like pure medical-grade silicone offer the perfect balance of firmness and flexibility. Glass dildos from companies like Pipedream or Don Wands can be heated or cooled for temperature play, while stainless steel options like those from Njoy provide firm, targeted pressure that many find incredibly effective for G-spot or P-spot stimulation. The lack of batteries or charging requirements makes them perfect for spontaneous use, travel, or anyone who prefers mechanical simplicity.

Enhancing Partner Play

Vibrating Cock Rings
These wearable toys enhance sensation for both partners during intercourse by providing targeted vibration while maintaining an erection through gentle constriction. The We-Vibe Pivot represents the gold standard in this category, featuring a flexible silicone design that adjusts to different sizes and a powerful vibrating motor positioned to stimulate the clitoris during penetrative sex. Most vibrating cock rings are made from stretchy silicone and feature bullet-style vibrators that can be removed for cleaning or separate use. The ring portion typically stretches to accommodate various sizes, while the vibrating element extends outward to provide external stimulation to the receiving partner. Premium options like the Lelo Tor 2 offer multiple vibration patterns, waterproof designs, and whisper-quiet motors. These toys require some experimentation to find the right fit and positioning, but many couples find they significantly enhance mutual pleasure during intercourse while being completely hands-free once properly positioned.
Couples’ Vibrators
Products like the We-Vibe Sync and similar C-shaped designs represent innovative engineering specifically created for simultaneous wear during penetrative sex. These toys feature two motors – one end sits internally to provide G-spot stimulation, while the external arm rests against the clitoris for dual stimulation. The unique shape allows for penetration while the toy remains in place, providing additional sensations for both partners. The We-Vibe Chorus, an upgraded version, includes squeeze-responsive controls and adjustable fit features. These toys typically connect to smartphone apps, allowing partners to control vibrations, create custom patterns, and even sync with music. The learning curve can be steep, as couples need to find the right size, positioning, and comfort level, but many report that these toys fundamentally change their intimate experiences. They work best with generous lubrication and patient experimentation to find optimal positioning and settings.
Remote-Controlled Toys
App-connected toys like those in the Lovense Lush series, Kiiroo products, and We-Vibe app-enabled collection have revolutionized long-distance intimacy and power play dynamics. The Lovense Lush 3, for example, is a curved internal vibrator designed to stay in place during wear, controlled via smartphone app from anywhere in the world with internet connection. These toys often feature video chat integration, allowing partners to control each other’s devices during virtual encounters. The Kiiroo Pearl 2 and similar products can even sync with interactive content or other Kiiroo devices for synchronized experiences. Many models include sound-activation features that respond to ambient noise or music, creating unique sensations. The apps typically offer pattern creation tools, long-distance control, video chat integration, and usage tracking. While the technology is impressive, users should be aware of privacy considerations with app-connected devices and ensure they understand the data collection policies of manufacturers.
Wearable Vibrators
Discreet wearable options like vibrating panties or clip-on devices can add excitement to date nights and intimate moments outside the bedroom. Products like the We-Vibe Moxie use magnetic clips to attach to underwear, while others like the OhMiBod Club Vibe are designed to respond to music and ambient sound. The Lovense Ferri is a popular panty vibrator with app control and public play features. These toys require careful consideration of noise levels, battery life, and appropriate settings for public use. Most feature whisper-quiet motors and secure wireless connections, though users should always test them privately first to ensure comfort and discretion. The thrill factor often comes from the secret knowledge and anticipation rather than intense stimulation, making them popular for couples who enjoy elements of public play and power exchange dynamics.

Anal Play: Safety-First Approach

Anal toys require specific design features for safe use and should never be improvised with toys designed for other purposes.
Butt Plugs
The fundamental rule for any anal toy is that it must have a flared base significantly wider than the toy’s body to prevent it from being drawn into the rectum – this is non-negotiable for safety. The B-Vibe Novice represents excellent beginner design with its small, tapered tip (0.9 inches at widest point), comfortable 2.75-inch insertable length, and substantial flared base. The graduated shape starts very small and gradually increases, allowing for comfortable insertion and natural muscle adjustment. More advanced options like the B-Vibe Trio include vibration with multiple patterns and intensities. The Njoy Pure Plug, made from surgical-grade stainless steel, offers substantial weight that many find pleasurable and can be heated or cooled for temperature play. Silicone plugs offer more flexibility and warmth, while glass and steel provide firm, consistent pressure. Most quality plugs feature smooth, seamless surfaces that are easy to clean and won’t harbor bacteria. Start with the smallest size available and use generous amounts of high-quality lubricant designed specifically for anal play.
Prostate Massagers
For individuals with prostates, specialized massagers like the Aneros Helix, Aneros MGX, and similar ergonomically designed toys can provide intense, full-body sensations unlike any other type of stimulation. These toys feature curved designs that naturally align with internal anatomy, targeting the prostate (located about 2-3 inches inside the rectum toward the front of the body). The Aneros models work without vibration, using subtle movements and muscle contractions to create stimulation, while powered options like the Lelo Hugo combine ergonomic design with powerful vibration patterns. The curved shape and bulbous head provide targeted pressure against the prostate, while the perineum tab (external portion) stimulates nerve endings between the scrotum and anus. These toys require patience, proper relaxation techniques, and often multiple sessions to master, as prostate stimulation can feel unusual at first. Quality prostate massagers are made from medical-grade materials and feature flared bases for safety, with many offering hands-free operation once properly positioned.

Smart Shopping Strategies

Research Through Reviews
Read detailed user reviews that discuss specific aspects like size comparisons, noise levels, battery life, and ease of cleaning. Look for reviews that mention similar experience levels to your own.
Consider Starter Sets
Many reputable brands offer beginner collections featuring multiple toys at discounted prices. This approach lets you try different styles and find your preferences without significant individual investments.
Essential Accessories
Don’t forget to budget for necessary accessories:
High-quality lubricant (water-based is compatible with all toy materials)
Specialized toy cleaner or mild antibacterial soap
Storage solutions to maintain hygiene and discretion
Towels or protective covers for easier cleanup

Proper Care and Maintenance

Cleaning Protocol

Clean all toys thoroughly before and after each use with warm water and mild soap or specialized toy cleaner. This prevents bacterial growth and extends the life of your products. Pay special attention to any textured areas where bacteria might accumulate.
Storage Best Practices
Store toys in clean, dry locations away from direct sunlight and extreme temperatures. Individual storage bags prevent material interactions and dust accumulation. Dedicated storage boxes or drawers work well for maintaining organization and discretion.
Battery Management
For rechargeable toys, maintain battery health by charging when power reaches about 20% rather than letting them completely drain. Remove batteries from battery-operated toys during extended storage periods to prevent corrosion damage.
Material Compatibility
Be aware that some toy materials can react with each other during storage. Silicone toys should be stored separately from each other unless they’re from the same manufacturer, as different silicone formulations can sometimes cause degradation.

Listen to your body 

Pay attention to how your body responds to different materials, sizes, and stimulation types. Some discomfort during initial use is normal, but persistent pain or irritation isn’t. Stop using any product that causes concerning symptoms.

Hygiene Practices
Never move toys from anal to vaginal contact without thorough cleaning, as this can cause infections. Consider having dedicated toys for different types of play to avoid cross-contamination.
Lubrication Importance
Quality lubrication enhances comfort and prevents tissue damage. Water-based lubricants work with all toy materials, while silicone-based lubricants last longer but shouldn’t be used with silicone toys.

Building Confidence and Communication

Self-Discovery Process

Exploring your preferences is a personal journey that takes time. Be patient with yourself as you learn what works and what doesn’t. There’s no “right” way to experience pleasure, and everyone’s preferences are different.
Partner Communication
If you’re exploring with a partner, maintain open communication about boundaries, interests, and comfort levels. Discuss experiences afterward to improve future encounters and ensure both partners feel heard and respected.
Realistic Expectations
Adult toys are tools to enhance pleasure, not magic solutions. They work differently for everyone, and finding your preferences may take experimentation. Don’t be discouraged if something doesn’t work perfectly the first time.

Final Thoughts

Starting your adult toy journey should be an exciting and positive experience. Focus on quality products from reputable manufacturers, prioritize your safety and comfort, and remember that exploration is a gradual process. Whether you’re enhancing solo experiences or partner intimacy, the right approach combines good products with patience, communication, and self-awareness.
Most importantly, remember that sexual wellness and pleasure are normal, healthy aspects of adult life. Quality adult toys can be valuable tools for self-discovery, stress relief, and intimate connection when chosen thoughtfully and used safely.
Take your time, do your research, and don’t be afraid to start small. Your comfort and satisfaction are the most important factors in creating positive experiences that enhance your overall well-being and intimate life.



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