‘Adolescence’ Revealed a ‘Secret Language’ of Emojis — Should Parents Be Worried?

When I imagined life with teenagers, I seriously underestimated how much time I’d spend just trying to decode what they were saying (cracked? Sigma? Crash out?) and their cryptic emoji use (what does the skull mean again?): all part of the supreme effort I put into not seeming uncool. Sure, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if they think I’m cool — I’m their parent, not their friend — but like most parents, I still want my kids to think I’m at least a little bit “with it.” (Ironically, I probably just proved that I’m not by using that exact phrase.)

The truth is, part of being a teenager is skirting rules, pushing boundaries, and rolling your eyes at your parents. We did it too, remember? Now that we’re on the other side, it feels different — but it’s the same teenage attitude, just dressed in new packaging. And thanks to technology we didn’t grow up with, it’s harder than ever to understand … or interpret.

Case in point: Netflix’s recent movie, Adolescence. When the film’s plot revealed that teens use seemingly innocent emojis to communicate deeper, often secret meanings, parents everywhere took notice. Emojis, those tiny expressive icons that adults typically see as harmless, can sometimes carry troubling messages among teens. And the film’s creators have said that the show itself is based on an amalgamation of real-life cases. So, are emojis and their hidden meanings indeed worth worrying about? We asked experts — and teens themselves.

Why Emojis Matter

Emojis aren’t just fun icons — they’re a core part of how teenagers express emotions, intentions, and hidden meanings. Teens are naturally wired to seek independence and carve out a sense of privacy, and emojis have become one of their favorite tools to do just that. They’re a quick, subtle way for teens to express themselves while keeping parents (and other adults) comfortably at arm’s length. It’s like their own shorthand: part self-expression, part social gatekeeping.

The ever-changing nature of what’s cool on platforms like TikTok only accelerates this. Viral trends and memes constantly reshape what emojis mean, so just when we think we’ve figured one out, it shifts into something completely different. Teens also use emojis with layers of humor and irony, which lets them talk about sensitive or even taboo topics without spelling anything out. It’s smart and subtle — and for parents, it can feel like trying to crack a code that changes daily.

“TikTok has made emoji usage a lively, meme-like language that circulates quickly and changes constantly,” Dr. Paul Daidone, Medical Director at True Self Recovery, tells SheKnows. “It’s become more ironic and performative — emojis can be employed opposite of their literal meanings, so cultural literacy trumps real comprehension.”

Common Emojis with Hidden Meanings

Here are some emojis that teens often use in ways many adults don’t expect:

Misinterpretation of emojis by adults can lead to confusion, missed opportunities to address serious issues, or unnecessary conflicts. It’s crucial that we strike a balance between respecting our teens’ privacy and staying on top of things enough to recognize potential warning signs.

“On one hand, emojis can help teens express themselves, especially when they don’t know how to put their feelings into words. It can be a way for them to share emotions and thoughts they’re still figuring out,” Dr. Sal Raichbach, LCSW, PsyD, tells SheKnows. “But it could also be problematic — especially if they use emojis to hide or mask things they’re struggling with. Since adults might not always understand the hidden meanings behind certain emojis, it can make it harder for parents or teachers to intervene when necessary.”

Should Parents Be Worried About the “Secret Language” of Emojis?

Still, say our experts, teen emoji use is most likely to fall into the self-expression category. “Be informed, but not panicked,” reasons Dr. Daidone. “There are some emojis used to signal dangerous feeling or behavior, but the vast majority of teens use them either playfully or as group slang. Context is key — emojis rarely tell the whole story.”

Caitlin Severin, LMFT & cofounder of CultivaTeen Roots, echoes this. “Parents need to remember that online trends are rooted in building culture and not necessarily secrecy and harm,” she reminds us.

What Does Gen Z Say About Their Emoji Use?

I polled members of our SheKnows Teen Council, as well as my own teen boys, to get their take on emoji slang — and whether it’s as potentially worrisome as some parents might believe. Unsurprisingly, the consensus was that adults tend to overthink it.

“That’s how you can tell a show was written by adults,” quipped my 17-year-old, Cameron, referring to Adolescence and how Gen Z communication gets misinterpreted by, well, people who aren’t Gen Z. Even the star of Adolescence, 15-year-old Owen Cooper, admits the hidden meanings of emojis as referenced in the movie were not on his personal radar: “I was glad I didn’t have an idea of what was going on — the emojis and the meanings behind them. I had no clue,” he told The Hollywood Reporter. “And I don’t think my friends knew, but it’s obviously happening across the country. It’s not a made-up story.”

While emojis can have alternate meanings, all of the council members we spoke to reported that most of the time, they aren’t being used for shady dealings — especially not to the degree portrayed in Adolescence.

“I don’t use emojis to keep secrets from adults,” says Sophia, 16. “Although emojis can have semi-hidden meanings, I never use them to send hidden messages.” A 15-year-old council member who preferred to remain anonymous echoed this sentiment: “I think I have some emojis that are inside jokes, but not necessarily to ‘hide’ something.”

A perfect example of adults misinterpreting an emoji is one we heard time and time again from nearly all of our Gen Zers: the crying emoji (😭), which has evolved far beyond its literal meaning. “If someone found what you said funny or was telling you about something funny that happened, they usually use the crying emoji,” reports 18-year-old Ajani.

“Adults definitely misinterpret ‘😭,’” says Gabby, 16. “Usually, teens are using it for something funny, but adults think that it means you’re actually upset.”

And don’t even get them started on the cry-laughing emoji (😂) — one of my personal favorites. “The cry-laughing emoji is just an old person thing,” says my son Coby, 15.

“It’s now largely viewed as passé,” agrees 16-year-old Meera. “It doesn’t really represent how Gen Z expresses humor anymore.”

The idea that emoji meanings aren’t fixed and are often layered with irony came up repeatedly. But don’t feel bad — even though our teenagers are light-years ahead of us when it comes to navigating the changing trends, sometimes even they get confused. “Certain emojis will turn pretty quickly from stuff that I can use to something overused,” says my 19-year-old, Colin. “If parents are seeing it, it’s probably already too late. It goes from something cool to the same emoji or expression being used ironically to make fun of the people who say it.” He offers up the same advice about AI: If ChatGPT has picked up on an emoji, its moment has already passed.

How to Bring Up Emoji Use With Your Kids (So They’ll Actually Talk About It)

Among the experts we spoke to, one piece of advice was unanimous: When questioning teens about emojis, approach is everything.

“Open-ended, non-judgmental dialogues will always lead to better outcomes in conversations with teens. Try, ‘I saw something about emojis having different meanings online — what are your opinions on that?’ Or just a low-stakes question like ‘What’s your favorite emoji to use?’” advises Severin. “You can also try asking, ‘Can you help me learn more about emojis? Are there any that have ridiculous meanings?’ Respond in a light way and not out of fear or accusations, which might shut the conversation down.”

Dr. Daidone also recommends open-ended questions to kickstart a conversation. “Begin from a position of curiosity and not doubt,” he says. “Ask questions like ‘What’s going on with this emoji trend?’ or ‘What is it that other people your age believe it’s about?’ to encourage discussion and not interrogate. Teenagers are more likely to be open when treated with respect.”

And just as we might tell our teens to watch their tone, we also need to watch ours. “It’s important to keep the conversation light and open, so your teen doesn’t feel judged or like they need to hide things. If you ask about emoji meanings or trends, do it in a way that shows you’re genuinely interested in understanding their world, not policing it,” says Dr. Raichbach. “When they see that you’re genuinely trying to connect and understand them, they’ll be more likely to open up with you.”

Here’s What We Should Actually Worry About

Experts also agree that the thing we need to worry about most goes much deeper than emojis. “Behavioral challenges such as increased secrecy, withdrawal, low social engagement, and lack of interest in previously held hobbies or passions, deserve your focus more than any emoji messages,” says Severin.

“If decoding emojis is the focus, I believe we are missing the point. While awareness and staying informed is absolutely crucial, I think the greater focus needs to be on helping our children feel comfortable enough to share concerning information with us,” says Lindsey Gray, cognitive behavioral expert and Head Teen Coach of The Attitude Advantage Program. “Secrecy comes in when kids feel the need to hide something due to shame, embarrassment, or an overall lack of mental, emotional, or social safety. If we can dispel the potential for those issues, then decoding becomes something we have to worry about much less.”

Though Adolescence may present a worst-case scenario, and your teen probably isn’t using emojis in a nefarious way, the film’s impact on parents — and their need to check in more closely with their kids — is undeniable.

“One hundred percent of people that have approached have said, ‘Thank you,’” Stephen Graham, who also stars as Eddie, the father of the accused boy, as well as being the movie’s co-writer and co-producer, told The Hollywood Reporter. “A good few dads have said, ‘It’s really made me look at myself. As soon as I finished watching it, I went into my kids room and I gave them a cuddle, and we’ve started to talk. I ask more questions.’”