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We all know it can be tough to make friends as an adult (you’ve probably seen articles about it at Corporette (here, here, here) or NYT, Vox, CNBC), and some common advice is to join a club or take a class. The suggestions often include book clubs, but let’s go beyond book clubs — what other kinds of clubs have you joined to find female friends? After all, reading a whole book may not feel that feasible for some of us in certain busy periods of our lives. (Audiobooks can help, though!)
What clubs have helped you make friends as an adult, readers? And former/current book club members, how have your book club experiences gone? Did you make friends there?
{related: how to make friends as you get older}
Why You Should Expand Your Friend Circle
Not only does it feel nice to expand your friend circle, but — while it may not be relevant for many readers for decades yet — it’s vital to stay social as we age, for our happiness AND our both physical and mental health (Mayo Clinic, Healthline, World Economic Forum).
(As an aside, I’ve found that I often have to be the one to reach out, taking on the “cruise director” role (which we mentioned in this post); for example, I often need to eventually follow up if text convos with friends / potential friends stall (not that I’m a perfect texter in any sense!). I don’t really mind, though it would make certain people anxious to reach out to people a second time after no response. Have you experienced this, readers?)
My Experience with Book Clubs and Friendships
Regarding book clubs, I ran (I use the term loosely) a book club in my neighborhood several years ago. We usually met at someone’s house, though occasionally we met at a cute dessert-and-wine spot. Most of us read the book each month, though our (fruitful and interesting) discussions eventually evolved (devolved? ha) into chatting about our kids. That actually was fine with me, as it’s always helpful to talk and vent with other moms, though I wouldn’t have blamed any childfree member for getting tired of the frequent kid-talk.
I actually DIDN’T make new friends this way, possibly because I already knew many of the members, so I didn’t have to make myself vulnerable and reach out. (And interestingly, though perhaps not surprisingly, we never, ever had a male neighbor join, and most or all of us happened to be moms.)
Our club was stable for at least a few years, but then it petered out (partially because I kind of got burned out organizing it), and I bet many book clubs do. (Yeah, my not-so-hot executive functioning didn’t help!)
I’ve identified a new potential book club, but have yet to attend a meeting — does anyone else struggle with finding the capacity to read a book by a deadline and/or you aren’t a fan of the book club picks? That’s my current dilemma.
{related: how to make new friends and network}
So, enough about book clubs, though we’d love to hear your experiences with them! FORTUNATELY, there are many more low-key activity groups that can help you make new friends besides book clubs.
Other Activity Clubs to Join to Make Friends
Baking Clubs
We noticed this fun and delicious idea in this reader comment thread! Here’s what the OP shared:
I’m part of a monthly cake club for ~6 people and it’s my turn to host. … The cake club is a monthly meetup of a handful of neighborhood women where each person hosts and bakes a cake. We gather to eat said cake and connect. The hosting pressure is really my own creation because we have some fantastic bakers in the group. The rule was initially only cake, but we’ve started snacking too since people typically spend the afternoon there chit chatting.
This sounds so fun, and not too much of a commitment! You can try cookie clubs, too, or do something less regular — at the holidays, some local women (organized through the “Women of [Town]” Facebook group I joined) get together at someone’s home to share homemade cookies, and everyone gets to take home each type of treat.
Obviously, members will have to be mindful of food allergies and other dietary considerations. Make sure to bring the recipe or message it to everyone ahead of time.
Article Clubs
I read about this option years ago somewhere, and I never forgot it because it sounds like a great idea. There’s no limit to the number of articles and thinkpieces out there that could spark lively discussions, and there’s far less pressure in being expected to read an article or two than having to finish an entire book. (Speaking of brevity, you could also launch a short-story club!)
It’s simple; the group picks an article to discuss and, y’know, gets together to discuss it. Stories with clickbait (or ragebait) headlines especially have discussion potential, though YMMV. Hey, and you can feel fancy by pretending you’re in a centuries-ago French salon. (Members could form a “no politics” rule if desired, but today’s fine line between politics vs. human rights and so on, is grayer than ever, so, yeah.)
Here are a few recent examples of good options — and check our weekly news posts, too:
- “Why ‘Success Is Quieter’ for Young Americans — WSJ [gift link]
- “Can the ‘Princess Treatment’ Go Too Far?” — NYT [gift link]
- “What’s Happening to Reading?” — The New Yorker
{related: 10 ways to make time for friends when you work a lot}
Craft Clubs
I’ve joined a very informal craft club of women (gender non-conforming people welcome!), organized through a Facebook group, and the one time I went so far, I liked it a lot. At the get-together, we made simple but cute candy corn garlands, and though mine’s certainly not pristine, I hang up mine every fall. We chatted about random stuff as we cut and glued, and though I didn’t make any new friends, it’s a good bet I could if I went regularly. (Again, I already knew most of the people.)
Note that you need someone detail-oriented and enthusiastic to order this (or you can rotate hosts), because a craft club requires someone to brainstorm simple(ish) art and craft activities, buy the supplies or distribute a supply list, and be ready to demonstrate. Having simple snacks available would be nice too, though if you’re not using all nontoxic materials, just don’t, y’know, don’t accidentally poison yourself.
If you’re like me and not really a “paint and sip” kind of person (hey, no shade), this is a great alternative.
Readers, do tell: Have you made friends through activity clubs like these, or yes, through book clubs? Any more ideas to share?
Stock photo via Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio.