The internet has a new favorite toddler—and it’s not because of anything she said. It’s because of how she listened.
In a quietly emotional video that’s racked up over 694K views, TikTok creator @hannahwiththelipstick captures her daughter sitting at the kitchen counter, munching on chicken nuggets while her parents talk “behind her back” about her… in the sweetest way possible.
What they’re doing is part of a growing parenting trend known as “positive gossip”—speaking praise about your child as if they’re not listening, even though they definitely are. As the parents rattle off sweet observations (“She was such a good listener today… all the kids love her… everybody was so happy to see her”), their toddler doesn’t interrupt. She doesn’t jump in. She just listens, completely still, her face betraying the softest, proudest smile.
The moment is quiet, but profound: a reminder that our children are always listening—and that sometimes, what we say when we think they’re not listening may be what sticks with them the most.
What is “positive gossip”?
At first glance, the phrase “positive gossip” might sound like a contradiction. But in parenting circles, it’s becoming a quietly powerful tool.
The concept is simple: Instead of offering your child praise directly, you speak positively about them to someone else—within their earshot. It could be a partner, a sibling, a grandparent, even a pet. The magic lies in your child overhearing the praise, rather than receiving it head-on.
The trend has been quietly gaining traction on TikTok and parenting forums, often shared in the form of tender, overheard moments like the one in Hannah’s video. These short clips remind us that sometimes the words our children remember most are the ones we never say to them—but about them.
Why it’s resonating with parents
The rise of “positive gossip” fits right into the heart of modern parenting—where raising emotionally intelligent, self-aware kids isn’t just a goal, it’s a daily practice.
Today’s parents are more intentional than ever. We read the books. We follow the experts. We try to validate feelings and model empathy. But along with that intention comes quiet pressure: Are we doing enough? Are our kids soaking it in?
That’s part of what makes this trend so compelling. When a child quietly glows in response to overheard praise, it feels like a moment of emotional proof—a sign that something is landing. That the kindness, the modeling, the patience… is working.
And in an age where so much parenting happens in the public eye—through social media, shared reels, and viral moments—these little wins matter. They feel like a mirror, reflecting back the values we’re trying so hard to instill.
The psychology behind overheard praise
Psychologists have long known that children internalize not just what’s said to them—but also what’s said around them. This is especially true in early childhood, when kids are constantly building their self-concept based on the cues they pick up from the people they trust most.
According to research, overheard praise can actually be more effective than direct compliments. Why? Because it feels unfiltered. When children hear positive things said about them in a context where they aren’t the direct audience, it registers as more sincere—almost like catching a glimpse of how the world sees them, not just how their parents want them to feel.
Over time, those overheard moments help shape a child’s inner voice. If what they hear is, “She’s so thoughtful with other kids,” or “He really tries hard, even when it’s tough,” they begin to see those qualities as part of who they are. That identity-building can lay the groundwork for long-term emotional resilience, confidence, and self-worth.
It’s a quiet kind of parenting win—one that doesn’t require applause, stickers, or even acknowledgment. Just a child, absorbing love from the background.
Related: The power of words: Why non-physical compliments mean so much more to children (and adults)
What parents are saying
The moment may be soft and simple—but it clearly struck a chord with parents everywhere.
In the comments on @hannahwiththelipstick’s video, you’ll find a heartfelt chorus of parents not just reacting, but reflecting—on how much kids absorb, and how powerful it is to shape their inner voice with intention.
- Theoriginal_redhead: ““Errr because they’re my friends!” “Were you listening this whole time??” “Yes hehehehe” 🥰🫶🏻🩷 She’s so cute and this is such a lovely concept – they absorb everything so why not give them some confidence and self belief”
- Callmebfay: “So sweet ❤️ we should do this behind grownup’s backs too! 🤗🥰”
- Joannaariasc: “I love seeing their smiles when we gush about them. Ahh to build their confidence up like that feels like the ultimate reward 🥹”
- Jolee.wright: “This is my favorite thing to do with our five year old daughter! I loveee praising her with her listening to my husband it’s the best 🥹”
- Whosthatgirlitsbea: “what we say about them becomes their inner voice! She’s going to grow up believing the most beautiful things about herself 💜”
Related: Dad’s emotional Instagram post about daughter’s teacher praise goes viral
Making positive gossip a habit
The beauty of “positive gossip” is that it’s simple—and it doesn’t require a script. You don’t need a perfect setup or a camera rolling. You just need a moment, a kind observation, and a willingness to say it out loud… within earshot.
Here are a few easy ways to make this part of your everyday parenting rhythm:
- Talk them up to your partner while your child plays nearby:
“She handled that doctor’s appointment so well. I was really proud of how brave she was.” - Say something sweet “to the dog” while your toddler’s in the room:
“Did you see how gently he treated his baby sister? He’s learning how to be so kind.” - Gush to a grandparent on speakerphone when you know little ears are listening:
“She helped clean up all the blocks without even being asked. I love how responsible she’s becoming.” - Use bedtime as a soft echo of earlier praise:
“I told Daddy how nicely you helped set the table. I think he was really proud of you too.”
Experts say it doesn’t have to be elaborate—it just has to be true. The more we narrate our kids’ strengths in real time, the more they internalize those traits as part of who they are.
The bottom line
It might seem like just another sweet parenting trend—but the “positive gossip” moment caught on camera by @hannahwiththelipstick is really about something deeper: the quiet power of being seen.
When children overhear us praising them—honestly, casually, lovingly—it doesn’t just boost their mood in the moment. It helps shape how they see themselves. It builds the foundation of a voice they’ll carry inside for years to come.
So next time you catch your child doing something kind, brave, or just beautifully them—say it out loud. Say it where they can hear it, even if they’re pretending not to. You never know how much they need to hear it, or how deeply it will sink in.
Because the words we think they’re not listening to? Those might be the ones they remember the most.