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arriage used to be about love, romance, and till-death-do-us-part vows. Now? It’s evolving—fast. Enter platonic marriages, a concept that might’ve sounded bizarre a decade ago but is now gaining serious traction. More people, especially Millennials and Gen-Z, are rethinking traditional relationship structures and asking: Why should marriage only be about romance? If best friends can have lifelong loyalty and emotional support, why not build a marriage around that instead?
A platonic marriage is a legally binding partnership between two people who aren’t romantically or sexually involved but still commit to a shared life together. Think of it as a deep, emotionally intimate partnership—without the messy breakups, unrealistic expectations, or pressure to keep the spark alive. Instead of being driven by passion, it’s about companionship, stability, and shared goals. Some people in platonic marriages even date other people on the side, while others choose complete exclusivity, but with no romance involved.
Why would someone choose a platonic marriage?
- Let’s be real—romantic relationships can be exhausting. The pressure to keep things exciting, the emotional rollercoasters, the heartbreaks—it’s a lot. Some people are realizing they value deep, loyal friendships over fleeting romance. Instead of searching for the one in a romantic sense, they’re choosing a life partner they know will always be there.
- Marriage comes with real perks: tax breaks, health insurance benefits, shared assets, and even immigration sponsorship. In a world where living expenses are skyrocketing, a platonic marriage can offer serious financial stability. Two besties splitting rent, securing legal rights over each other’s affairs, and building a life together? Makes way more sense than struggling alone.
- Romantic relationships can be intense, unpredictable, and sometimes even toxic. Infidelity, falling out of love, and the pressures of maintaining a sexual relationship can lead to serious emotional damage. Platonic marriages remove the stress of keeping romance alive, allowing for pure companionship without fear of heartbreak.
- Millenials and Gen Z are rewriting the rules of relationships. We grew up seeing high divorce rates, messy breakups, and unrealistic romantic ideals pushed by Hollywood. Now, we’re asking: What if love doesn’t have to look like that? Platonic marriages challenge the idea that a successful marriage requires romance and sex.
Does a platonic marriage really work?
Yes—and no. Like any partnership, a platonic marriage requires commitment, communication, and aligned values. Some thrive on deep friendship and shared goals, while others struggle with societal pressure or personal doubts. Here’s what makes them work (or fail)-clear boundaries. Both people must be on the same page about finances, living arrangements, dating rules, and long-term goals. Just because it’s not romantic doesn’t mean it’s casual. Platonic marriages work when both partners are fully invested in their shared life. Having a life partner who has your back—without the pressure of romance—can be fulfilling in ways traditional marriages sometimes aren’t. Notwithstanding, there are factors that could cause a decline. People might not understand the dynamic and pressure you to “find real love.” Also, if one person develops romantic feelings, things can get messy. Families may struggle to accept it, and legal rights (like adopting children) can get complicated without clear agreements.
How can one achieve sexual fulfillment in this type of marriage?
Sexual fulfillment in a platonic marriage depends entirely on the dynamics and agreements between the partners. Since these marriages are not built on romantic or sexual attraction, individuals navigate intimacy in ways that align with their personal needs and boundaries. Some partners choose to have an open arrangement where they seek sexual fulfillment outside the marriage, whether through casual dating, long-term romantic connections, or ethical non-monogamy. For them, separating sex from the stability of marriage allows for both emotional security and physical satisfaction without the pressure of maintaining both within one relationship. Others enter platonic marriages because they identify as asexual or have a low sex drive, making the absence of sexual intimacy a non-issue. In such cases, companionship, emotional connection, and shared life goals take priority over physical attraction.
For those who do have sexual desires but prefer to keep their marriage strictly platonic, self-satisfaction becomes an option. Many people in these relationships rely on self-pleasure or external stimuli to fulfill their physical needs while maintaining the non-romantic nature of their partnership. Additionally, intimacy in platonic marriages does not always have to involve sex. Some couples find deep fulfillment in physical affection, like cuddling, holding hands, or sharing emotional vulnerability, which can create a sense of closeness without romantic expectations.
The key to making a platonic marriage work is alignment in expectations. If one partner desires a traditional romantic and sexual connection while the other does not, frustration and resentment may develop over time. However, when both individuals are fully aware of and agree upon the structure of their relationship, platonic marriages can be just as fulfilling as traditional ones. In a world where love and commitment are constantly being redefined, the idea that sexual intimacy must be a requirement for marriage is being challenged. As long as both partners feel emotionally, mentally, and physically satisfied in their own way, a platonic marriage can function successfully without adhering to conventional notions of intimacy.
Controversies and criticisms
While traditional and platonic marriages are alike in many ways, one major difference is how society perceives these marriages. Traditional marriages are widely accepted and encouraged, whereas platonic marriages still face skepticism. People often question whether a marriage without romance is truly fulfilling or sustainable, reinforcing societal expectations that equate marriage with love and passion. However, for those who choose platonic marriages, the lack of societal validation is a small price to pay for the emotional security and partnership they receive.
Ultimately, both structures serve different purposes for different people. While some may thrive in the traditional romantic setup, others find more comfort and longevity in a platonic partnership. The rise of platonic marriages signals a cultural shift—one that acknowledges that love and commitment don’t always have to fit into one rigid definition.
Of course, not everyone is sold on the idea of platonic marriages. Some argue that it’s undermining the traditional values of marriage or that it’s just a workaround for financial perks. Others believe it’s just a phase and that eventually, people in platonic marriages will crave romance. But here’s the thing—if two consenting adults choose a structure that works for them, why does it matter? Just because it’s not conventional doesn’t mean it’s not valid. Relationships should be about what works for the people involved, not what society expects.
As more people question traditional relationship norms, platonic marriages will likely become even more common. We’re seeing a cultural shift where love isn’t the sole foundation of a successful partnership—trust, loyalty, and shared goals are just as important. In the end, marriage is evolving. Whether it’s romantic or platonic, the goal is the same: to build a life with someone who makes you feel safe, valued, and supported. And if that’s your best friend instead of a romantic partner? Then maybe love really does come in all forms.
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