Sometimes, the best parenting inspiration comes from looking back. That’s what struck so many parents when Vanessa Eves’ video went viral—she shared eight ways she parents “like it’s 1985.” From letting her kids run barefoot outside to saying no to constant new toys, her approach reminded people of a simpler time when connection came first.
But nostalgia doesn’t mean turning back the clock. In 2025, families are weaving those timeless practices into modern life—with a little more intention, safety, and heart. Here are Vanessa’s eight retro-inspired routines—and how you can try them in your own home tonight.
1. From fewer random gifts → to gratitude rituals that stick
In the 80s, gifts were reserved for birthdays or holidays, which meant kids savored what they had. Vanessa’s throwback spin? Keep presents special.
Modern tweak: turn giving into a gratitude ritual. Instead of endless surprise toys, mark milestones with small tokens paired with a thank-you drawing or family “cheer circle.” These gestures help children connect joy to meaning, not just stuff.
2. From “tough it out” → to resilience with a coach in their corner
Back then, kids often heard: “Pick yourself up and keep going.” While grit matters, children also thrive when their feelings are acknowledged.
Try this: celebrate effort over outcome, use simple “try again” scripts, and sit with your child’s disappointment before helping them move forward.
Related: The gentle parenting trick one mom used to teach self love
3. From tight screen limits → to a family media plan that actually works
Parents used to just say “no TV until homework is done.” In today’s world of TikTok, FaceTime, and gaming, blanket bans rarely stick.
Instead, make a family media plan. Create a “device parking” station during dinner and bedtime, carve out set times for calls with relatives, and model balance yourself. Kids notice when parents live by the same rules.
4. From no video games → to clear, loving boundaries around play
In the 80s, some households skipped video games altogether. While that may not be realistic today, the heart of it was moderation.
Modern approach: keep gaming in shared spaces, use timers for play sessions, and talk about what’s age-appropriate. Framing boundaries as family agreements—not punishments—helps kids see structure as safety, not restriction.
Related: Have we gotten too gentle in gentle parenting?
5. From no smartphones yet → to gentle “step-ups” in responsibility
Holding off on smartphones can feel impossible when “everyone else” has one. But research links early phone use to dependency and anxiety.
Parents today are finding middle ground with step-ups: starter talk/text watches, basic phones with limits, or short trial runs. Revisit the rules at checkpoints. The message becomes: “We trust you, and we’ll grow this freedom together.”
6. From barefoot outside → to nature-first rituals (with safety in mind)
Vanessa grew up running barefoot in New Zealand, a sensory-rich freedom that many of us remember. Science backs it up: outdoor play boosts motor skills, mood, and creativity.
Your version can be simple: barefoot stretches on the grass, evening nature walks, or just five minutes of “sky watching” in the yard. Shoes stay on for streets or playgrounds, but little rituals root kids in the world outside screens.
Related: No, gentle parenting is not permissive parenting
7. From boredom battles → to creativity triggers
In the 80s, “I’m bored” was met with “find something to do.” That space gave rise to epic forts and backyard adventures.
Modern parents can reclaim boredom with tools like a “boredom box” (puzzles, scraps, art supplies) or quick “maker minutes” after school. Unstructured time sparks imagination, problem-solving, and self-reliance—the very skills our fast-paced world often squeezes out.
8. From picky-eating stress → to peaceful family tables
Vanessa didn’t panic if her kids lived on carrots and cucumbers for a week. Today, the division of responsibility approach echoes that wisdom: parents decide what’s offered, kids decide if and how much to eat.
This simple shift lowers mealtime battles and builds trust. Over time, kids expand their tastes—without parents hovering, bribing, or stressing. Dinner becomes about connection, not conflict.
What people are saying
Vanessa’s video sparked a wave of recognition:
- Angelakatherina_: “I’m glad I’m not alone! I do pretty much all of these”
- Shoniemg: “Finally, someone that’s not telling me to make my own bread and yoghurt and grow my own veg to be agood mum. These points are all great and I can totally relate.”
- Aldinamachadodasilva: “Grew up barefoot all the time—indoors and outdoors. Resulting in having strong feet. I agree with all your points! Well done!”
But not everyone agreed. Some viewers worried about the language and framing behind the throwback approach:
- Ayshamdavis: “Imagine being an adult and calling children snowflakes and thinking that’s okay. They’re children. They’re going to have big emotions. They’re supposed to have big emotions. That’s part of their brain development. You’re supposed to be their safe space for them to express that, and learn to deal with it. Not go on the internet and call literal children snowflakes.”
- Guidingwildlings: “The comments saying you’re bringing 80s child abuse are WILD 😂 Imagine thinking not allowing smartphones, Xboxes and excessive tablet time is abuse.”
The pushback underscores how polarizing “old-school” parenting can feel today. For some, it’s a refreshing reminder of simpler times; for others, it raises red flags about minimizing children’s needs or mislabeling boundaries as harm.
Try this week: Easy micro-shifts
The beauty of these retro habits is that they don’t require a full lifestyle overhaul. Start small, notice the difference, and let little changes ripple into your family’s daily rhythm.
- Set two screen rules: one device-free mealtime and one weekend carve-out for family fun.
- Add one outdoor ritual: barefoot grass time, sky-gazing, or a short walk.
- Use one dinner script: parents pick the menu, kids choose from what’s on the table.
Small steps build big habits. A little retro inspiration can help families nurture gratitude, resilience, and connection.
What kids will remember
Parenting doesn’t need to be perfect—or stuck in the past. What matters is connection. Whether it’s barefoot play, shared laughter, or a simple family ritual, these small, retro-inspired habits remind us that kids carry the joy of being loved far longer than any gadget or trend.